She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
