Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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