oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize