Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
