oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
