uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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