Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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