i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
