i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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