Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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