Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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