you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
