i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
