It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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