You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
