I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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