(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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