But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I skipped work to stalk him.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
