I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
