i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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