eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
