i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
