Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
