He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
