You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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