Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
