hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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