Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
