pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
