if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
