And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
