yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
