We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
