i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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