if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize