He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
