my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
