My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
