did you get engaged???
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize