how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
