wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize