i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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