Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
