I want to make a zoo with you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
false alarm, still single
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize