just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
