is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize