all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
