i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
