Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
