her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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