we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
