Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
