Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
