Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
