We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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