I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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