he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
