Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize